Inspirational Strongwoman Louise in training for Spartan Persian War

In terms of mighty, powerful women, they don’t come much stronger than Big Louise.

The indestructable 40-year-old is currently the second strongest woman in the world only being beaten by Big Kay from the BBC series The Scheme.

And determined Louise has now her sights set on searing it up over in Greece with 299 other Spartan warriors.

She has been competing and training since 2011, and her hard work and efforts have won her a host of battles including her ending of the war in Afghanistan in 2014.

Louise discovered a passion for strength training after being introduced to the joys of watching Popeye cartoons from a very young age & Ludovico technique style conditioning to repeatedly watch the film Pumping Iron again and again. Sometimes at weeks on end.

A natural progression, and tons of hard work learning to develop a fondness for the taste of Spinach, led her to compete at the top level and become a top enforcer in Ayrshire housing estates, and inspire thousands of women all over the world. Louise has strong ties in the community, and is a regular at visiting hours at Barlinnie prison gym.

As well as all her events and appearances, Louise is using her knowledge to help others attain their goals.

Using locally grown Spinach, Louise has decided to take up the challenge and to go to Greece to fight against the Persian threat lead by Mad God-King Xerxes.

“Eighty per cent of the kebabs I devour are from Greece” said Louise.

“I love helping these puny Greek men train and to realise their potential.”

With plans to hold the World’s Strongest event in Ayrshire this year, it looks like another busy year ahead for Louise.

“Once i've ”defeated the Persian foe by pummelling them into submission, I plan to give the other 299 boys a bit of a pose off' then it'll be back to Ayrshire to show who's the champ at pulling trucks by my teeth attached to a rope. Ack, ack, ack! I'm strong to the finish 'cos I eats me spinach!"

Irvine Residents Ragin' at New Magnum Plans

Irvine residents are up in arms at the latest plans for the new Magnum Centre. Already a touchy subject with the imminent closure of the historic sports complex being sold by a cabal of Irvine Bhey crooked businessmen and members of the Cooncil having lined their pockets selling the land for prime housing spots at the harbour site.

Latest plans for the Magnum centre at the site of the former Police Station at Irvine Cross have sparked outcries! 'How the fuck am I going to get my smack now?' asked a Parterre Resident. The cross is a place where the Police have traditionally turned a blind eye to us junkies dealing. Now with weans running aboot, we'll have to move our offices elsewhere. This will definitely have a bad effect on local business'.

Further outcries at the proposed design plans for the new Magnum have caused complaints too.

Artists Impression of the New Magnum:

Paddy Wiggum of Irvine Bhey was unavailable for comment about allegations of corruption as he's spending winter in Barbados with his ill gotten gains. A member from the Cooncil did respond though by saying "
Away and get tae fuck, the new Magnum means loads of business for retailers like Black Mamma's. They're expecting sales of suppers to go through the roof. The Cooncil, will as always accommodate our junkie businessmen who traditionally have conducted business in the area by giving them new offices down the harbour along with dogs as part of their companion scheme and a generous financial grant."
Louie our fitness columnist will be running another lot of advertisements,  sorry features in the paper for his classes which he can advertise sorry, tell you all about, in his column every week to drum up business. It's a win win for everyone involved.